I work as a teacher's assistant in elementary school and I have felt a creeping existential dread in regards to social media for a long time now. Despite most kids in 4th grade and above having their own phone, I have yet to see single child with anything close to a net positive relationship to social media. It's ALL poison for their development and overall happiness.
I often hear parents say they gave their kid a smarthone because they were worried about their kid being "left out" or teased if they didn't have one. But my experience is the complete opposite. The kids who are the most online are also the ones who have the most difficulty socializing. They are so absorbed by their mindless, personalized feeds that it absolutely crushes their cultural and social vocabulary with other kids.
Meanwhile, the kids who don't have phones (and even a majority of the phone kids, once the phones are locked away) socialize and get along just fine and they have a perfectly good time doing good, old-fashioned activities together instead. They would all rather play football, make up their own board games, discuss dinosaurs and hell, some even read books for fun(!).
I hear a lot of talk about "lost generations", but the depressing truth is that we're all trapped in the same tar pit. Whether it's old people on facebook, millennials on twitter or the poor kids glued to tiktok, the only actual solution is to just walk away from it. To not engage.
So raw. The fact that Artists have to also be social media creators these days. And that makes me sad as if that's not hard already. To get a following so that publishers/editors can leverage their existing audience and make a quick $$. Exceptional art is born through struggles, rolling through the mud, getting trampled on; inspiration and luck blessing us at the strangest times. How do we glamorize that on TikTok? I don't know. I've recently also written up something along the lines of how our personalities are changing because of social media, would love your thoughts: https://open.substack.com/pub/chaosandpoetry/p/i-am-my-algorithm?r=9e6ci&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
This is such a timely essay and hits a feeling that has been simmering for awhile but feels like it's just boiling over with the blatant kowtowing to Trump by Musk and Zuckerberg. I have a work friend who I used to hang out with who is semi-ghosting me when I try to be in touch. It seems like we're still friends but she never follows up on the chance to connect. Meanwhile she's started a clever thing on social media discussing books and drinks. It's witty and clever and frankly is the sort of thing I wish I'd thought of. But it's also sad. The posts are getting one or two likes and it just makes me think why don't we grab a drink and discuss a book. It's essentially the same reach and would actually be meaningful. I guess to avoid being a hypocrite, I should go nicely express that to her and try to set it up rather than just commenting about it on what is in essence yet another social media platform. Thanks for your thoughtful piece.
This is brilliant, Lyta, and speaks crystal clearly to my recent experiences with these “services”. It is a big topic to stare at, and to think about soberly. Thank you for taking the time to tackle it. Every reader will be better off because of it. See you on the other side of social media!
I’ve tried them all and have no interest in returning, even if it is to try to sell my novel. While Substack is still social media, the platform doesn’t have an algorithm based in competition and division…or at least not one that seems to be serving me anything besides ideas, questions, and great writing. Beats the pants off pretty pictures and tightly edited videos.
Back in 1998, the cultural critic, media ecologist, and former elementary school teacher Neil Postman was asked to speak at a gathering of Catholic theologians to share his insights about technological change; the text of the speech is available here: https://www.cs.ucdavis.edu/~rogaway/classes/188/materials/postman.pdf
I bring this up here because I think one of his insights — that technological change isn't additive; it's ecological, and thus new tech doesn't just change things for those who adopt it but rather for all of us regardless of whether we adopt it or not — seems incredibly relevant to this conversation.
I offer this perspective: I'm what we might characterize as an "emerging" poet. I've published, but I don't yet have a book.
It has been my experience that a certain level of activity on social media is necessary for building both the awareness of my existence among other poets and for ensuring that I have connections and opportunities for both community and collaboration. If I were to withdraw from social media completely, I would be attempting to pretend that the ecological change of social media had not occurred.
My recognition of the change shouldn't be conflated with any sort of enjoyment of this new ecology, however; I don't like the way in which social media has turned us into passive consumers of each other's lives as "content" and I don't like the invisible manipulation of people who don't (or don't want to) recognize how much they're at the mercy of algorithms and oligarchs.
I'm not optimistic that we'll see positive change in this realm; I don't think there will ever be enough of a critical mass of people who will break their addictions to convenience and ease and prurience.
I agree that the ecology can’t change just because one or two individuals decide to ditch social media. But collectives are made up of individuals and a movement away from social media is as plausible as the movement toward it was in the first place. Ecologies needn’t remain stable; in fact, they never do. But people have to decide it’s possible and desirable to buck the dominant trend.
I'm afraid (and I don't use that word in a hyperbolic fashion here) that the challenge in reaching any sort of tipping point in turning away from social media is going to be helping people imagine a world without it in ways that don't make it seem like deprivation. The social mechanisms that enabled interpersonal interaction prior to the rise of social media were withering even before the arrival of the internet, let alone Friendster. Regardless of one's view of religious and service organizations, they provided a significant opportunity for connection and the development of community, and participation in them has been declining for decades. (Robert Putnam's work in his book Bowling Alone offers a valuable perspective in this arena: http://bowlingalone.com/)
And don't get me wrong: I would love to live in a world where no one has social media. I just don't see it happening.
A wonderful essay!
I work as a teacher's assistant in elementary school and I have felt a creeping existential dread in regards to social media for a long time now. Despite most kids in 4th grade and above having their own phone, I have yet to see single child with anything close to a net positive relationship to social media. It's ALL poison for their development and overall happiness.
I often hear parents say they gave their kid a smarthone because they were worried about their kid being "left out" or teased if they didn't have one. But my experience is the complete opposite. The kids who are the most online are also the ones who have the most difficulty socializing. They are so absorbed by their mindless, personalized feeds that it absolutely crushes their cultural and social vocabulary with other kids.
Meanwhile, the kids who don't have phones (and even a majority of the phone kids, once the phones are locked away) socialize and get along just fine and they have a perfectly good time doing good, old-fashioned activities together instead. They would all rather play football, make up their own board games, discuss dinosaurs and hell, some even read books for fun(!).
I hear a lot of talk about "lost generations", but the depressing truth is that we're all trapped in the same tar pit. Whether it's old people on facebook, millennials on twitter or the poor kids glued to tiktok, the only actual solution is to just walk away from it. To not engage.
To actually touch grass.
Substack is social media, too. Do you think we should all try to move to our own websites?
I’m looking into alternatives and will probably get off pretty soon! I think we need our own independent networks for sure.
So raw. The fact that Artists have to also be social media creators these days. And that makes me sad as if that's not hard already. To get a following so that publishers/editors can leverage their existing audience and make a quick $$. Exceptional art is born through struggles, rolling through the mud, getting trampled on; inspiration and luck blessing us at the strangest times. How do we glamorize that on TikTok? I don't know. I've recently also written up something along the lines of how our personalities are changing because of social media, would love your thoughts: https://open.substack.com/pub/chaosandpoetry/p/i-am-my-algorithm?r=9e6ci&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
Man I needed this. Thanks Lyta! Come upstate sometime!
Hi David! I’m in Worcester now so I’m close-ish!
Oh neato!
This is such a timely essay and hits a feeling that has been simmering for awhile but feels like it's just boiling over with the blatant kowtowing to Trump by Musk and Zuckerberg. I have a work friend who I used to hang out with who is semi-ghosting me when I try to be in touch. It seems like we're still friends but she never follows up on the chance to connect. Meanwhile she's started a clever thing on social media discussing books and drinks. It's witty and clever and frankly is the sort of thing I wish I'd thought of. But it's also sad. The posts are getting one or two likes and it just makes me think why don't we grab a drink and discuss a book. It's essentially the same reach and would actually be meaningful. I guess to avoid being a hypocrite, I should go nicely express that to her and try to set it up rather than just commenting about it on what is in essence yet another social media platform. Thanks for your thoughtful piece.
This is brilliant, Lyta, and speaks crystal clearly to my recent experiences with these “services”. It is a big topic to stare at, and to think about soberly. Thank you for taking the time to tackle it. Every reader will be better off because of it. See you on the other side of social media!
I’ve tried them all and have no interest in returning, even if it is to try to sell my novel. While Substack is still social media, the platform doesn’t have an algorithm based in competition and division…or at least not one that seems to be serving me anything besides ideas, questions, and great writing. Beats the pants off pretty pictures and tightly edited videos.
You said everything that needed to be said. Thank you
Back in 1998, the cultural critic, media ecologist, and former elementary school teacher Neil Postman was asked to speak at a gathering of Catholic theologians to share his insights about technological change; the text of the speech is available here: https://www.cs.ucdavis.edu/~rogaway/classes/188/materials/postman.pdf
I bring this up here because I think one of his insights — that technological change isn't additive; it's ecological, and thus new tech doesn't just change things for those who adopt it but rather for all of us regardless of whether we adopt it or not — seems incredibly relevant to this conversation.
I offer this perspective: I'm what we might characterize as an "emerging" poet. I've published, but I don't yet have a book.
It has been my experience that a certain level of activity on social media is necessary for building both the awareness of my existence among other poets and for ensuring that I have connections and opportunities for both community and collaboration. If I were to withdraw from social media completely, I would be attempting to pretend that the ecological change of social media had not occurred.
My recognition of the change shouldn't be conflated with any sort of enjoyment of this new ecology, however; I don't like the way in which social media has turned us into passive consumers of each other's lives as "content" and I don't like the invisible manipulation of people who don't (or don't want to) recognize how much they're at the mercy of algorithms and oligarchs.
I'm not optimistic that we'll see positive change in this realm; I don't think there will ever be enough of a critical mass of people who will break their addictions to convenience and ease and prurience.
I agree that the ecology can’t change just because one or two individuals decide to ditch social media. But collectives are made up of individuals and a movement away from social media is as plausible as the movement toward it was in the first place. Ecologies needn’t remain stable; in fact, they never do. But people have to decide it’s possible and desirable to buck the dominant trend.
I'm afraid (and I don't use that word in a hyperbolic fashion here) that the challenge in reaching any sort of tipping point in turning away from social media is going to be helping people imagine a world without it in ways that don't make it seem like deprivation. The social mechanisms that enabled interpersonal interaction prior to the rise of social media were withering even before the arrival of the internet, let alone Friendster. Regardless of one's view of religious and service organizations, they provided a significant opportunity for connection and the development of community, and participation in them has been declining for decades. (Robert Putnam's work in his book Bowling Alone offers a valuable perspective in this arena: http://bowlingalone.com/)
And don't get me wrong: I would love to live in a world where no one has social media. I just don't see it happening.